Tag: soul

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Reality

Staring at the wall is one of the calmest things for me. It opens my mind to all of the thoughts I have suppressed throughout the day. I think, I contemplate, I cry, I pray.

I face reality…………..

My reality is different from everyone else’s because that’s how GOD intended it to be. So why is it that my reality gets slammed when it doesn’t align with the reality of others.

See I was born different, I knew it at an early age. Never been a people person, a popular girl, a beauty queen; just a plain Jane. You think it changed throughout my teen years into early adulthood; hell no. My differences have made me and molded me to be the different individual that I am. Accepting my differences has been a struggle. I have allowed others perceptions of what I need to be, coordinate many actions in my life. I have robbed myself of the joy that life can bring on account of trying to fit in, please others, and submit to the none submissive. I allowed my reality, to be buried beneath the “you need to do this” and “the you should look like this”, and let’s not forget the “stop being so emotional”. Reality, reality, reality…….

Reality bites, but reality is truth. Reality will teach you some shit. Reality will hurt your fucking feelings so bad you will think GOD hates your tangled little guts. Reality will show you how to love and be loved. It will show you the meaning of trust and deception, the real from the fake.

It doesn’t take long to get slapped in the face with reality. Your perception had your mind so screwed up that that back hand of reality hit even harder than it needed to. Just see it for what it is, not what you want it to be, simply what it is. Dont allow your life to possess more turmoil than it needed simply because you refused to see what reality was trying to show you. Understand the plan for you will be shown wether you want to see it or not. Face reality sooner than later and realize your existence has a purpose.

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Prayer from a damaged soul

For so long I’ve wondered why, never stopping to think that all it took was a little detail. I, like many others have allowed the actions of others to dictate my happiness, sadness, excitement, joy, anger, and resentment. Now it is time for me to take a different approach and realize that life is what I make of it.

Selfishly I always felt like there’s no way that God will answer a prayer that involves specifics, selfishness, and details. I have somehow gotten lost in the façade that I can do it on my own as opposed to maintaining my faith and following the instruction of my favorite scripture; Proverbs 3:5-6, Trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not onto thine own understanding. In all the ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy path.

So for all of the women and men who have found themselves just a bit too damaged, I invite you to borrow this prayer and embark on a changed journey.

Dear father I come to you in order to bare my soul in hopes of a clear and guided pathway. I have fell short of the glory that you have promised me. I have found myself drowning in the need for approval by others, whether it be their actions, their desires, or simply just there being. My happiness has been placed aside for far too long. I pray that you open my eyes and help me to see clear those things in which you have placed on this earth for me and blur those things which are not for me. I pray that you continue to guide my soul so that I may be full of the nutrients of your spirit in order to Praise your name, raise my children, and heal my soul. Takeaway that anxiousness and that feeling of loneliness that I have allowed to over shadow my happiness, for I now understand that you have already healed a mate who is waiting for an equally healed soul to join him. Patience is my flaw and I pray You teach me the importance of a little less complaining and a lot more silence.

When those negative thoughts cloud my head place positivity on my mind and enable me to focus on success. I understand that I am not perfect and I do not expect perfection but my expectations exceed mediocre attempts.There is so much more that I could bear, but you already know. This is only the beginning of a prayer from a damaged soul that request your healing. In all of your name, praises to the, Amen.